Under the breath

I had a boss once who said that you are not being a good boss if your employees don’t cuss you under their breath once in a while.  I find that I might actually be a great boss then.

This has been quite a rough week. I find I am having to lead through some challenging and difficult situations. And our leadership structure, good or bad, is all on me. I own whatever failure or success we have as a team. I own the happy, warm, fuzzy moments. And I own the yucky, gunky, irritating moments. I am the arthitect of the staff structure.

Life was simple when I was a youth pastor. I was able to sit back and watch the fireworks display in and around the senior pastor’s office. I would wonder why and what and where. Then head off to a youth event and forget all about it.

As the senior leader, the fireworks seem to be strategically located under my chair. And I think most people like to watch, make comments, observations, and then move on. Meanwhile, I have to figure out how the fire started, how we put it out, and how we solve for the future. So if I handle things well or not, pretty or not, brilliantly or not, everyone gets to watch the scene, point, and make observations.

Today, I realize I am not Drucker, Blanchard, Maxwell, or any other leadership expert. I am, though, the guy that needs wisdom, discernment, prayer, and the courage to do and say what needs to be done and said, knowing full well that some on my team might cuss me under their breath. I suppose it’s unavoidable.

I have always said failure, when it is behind effort, is a lot more palletable. I think thats true in leadership. But failure is not to tolerate when it’s in the leader.

I had a senior pastor that said we all tend to judge people by their actions but we want to be judged by our inentions. And, in essence, it is far easier to expect our leaders to perform the way we expect them too, but we want our leaders to give us a ton of grace and let us off the hook easily and gently.

Leadership is tough stuff. And I think leadership is in the top 5 toughest things to do. And there is no way around it. There is no real way to abdicate responsibility or to pass it off. Leadership requires attendance. Leadership requires attention. Leadership requires decisiveness. And, I guess, leadership, at times, requires cussing.

Giving

Today, God spoke to me to give someone some cash. I wasn’t reluctant at all. And it is so good just to give. I wish I was a bajillionaire. I would probably give it all away. I hope that for my whole life, I can be a giver. Yes. I want to be the guy that picks up the check. Yes,  I want to be the guy that creates opportunities for others. Yes, I want to help people out when they are in need. I continually pray for more cash. And I pray I will always have the courage to give whatever it is God is asking me to give. Whatever I would buy with it would end up broken or worn out in a short period of time anyway. And no, I don’t need you to volunteer as a recipient. I think God does a good job pointing me towards those He wants me to give to. But thanks anyway.

This morning

After men’s prayer, I had breakfast with this guy Jeremy. It was good to talk with him about all kinds of stuff. We talked about what Gary Lamb has blogged about. We talked about Northstar church and Blaine Bartel and how that was going. We talked about the various people that were influencing us right now.

And all the while, I kept thinking that some day, Jeremy would be that guy that everyone else was talking about. Just a hunch. But I think he really is poised for some great things with God. He is planting in Austin, Texas.

Deal or no deal

We start a new series this Sunday. It’s all about the options Jesus had to bail out. This Sunday, we look at the temptations thrown at Him when He finished fasting 40 days. I am excited about this series. I think it will reveal some of the character of Jesus and His unwavering focus on His mission. If only I had some of that determination.

Pluckers

I am only writing to inform you that I will be at Pluckers. It’s wings. Mmmm. I am going to do a three and a half pike, double gainer face plant into some wings. I probably won’t be able to hear or see anything. I will be in the zone. When a shark is about to devour something, it closes its eyes to protect them from the carnage. That’s me tonight at Pluckers.

Traveling again

I am traveling again today. And I am doing this everyday next week. It’s been interesting though. You start to notice trends, landscape, mile markers, and all kinds of other stuff. South of Austin is really a pretty part of the area. Wimberley area is quite beautiful in the scheme of the Austin metro area. Rolling roadways. Trees. Livestock. Old houses. It’s refreshing to get out of the city and cruise. And the Mustang seems to enjoy those kinds of roads that require little braking. And it is a great stress reliever. I can solve all the worlds problems right there in my little car.

My wife is smarter

I am going public. My wife and I were both taking our master’s degrees at the same time. I had tougher classes than her but that’s a side issue. (OK, I only had one class tougher. The rest were the same). She is coming through with a higher GPA than me. Both our grades will be mid 90’s. But hers will probably be two points higher. I am hugely competitive and I think she cheated and bribed the professor and copied her stuff off the internet and probably drugged me while I was doing my work. But other than that, she is just a bit smarter than me. There I said it. Happy now? So let’s move on ok? There’s nothing to see here.

Drink more water

I have been knocking down a lot of water lately. I have actually noticed a huge difference in how I feel and how my body is working. I am going to the restroom more, but it’s a minor consolation.

Moving Forward

I think some time windows for progression are closing. I feel like if some things don’t get moving, I will have to move them forward myself. They are things that God has spoken to me about that must get done. Things that have deadlines on my overall vision and mission calendar. The kingdom of God is simply to important and too much of a stewardship issue to leave alone. Not sure how else to say it but how I just said it. The clock is ticking and the alarm is about to go off.

Long Day

I left the house today at 7 am. Stopped at the church quickly to rip through some emails. Headed out an hour and a half south to have a long business meeting. Left there at 4:30 to get to my son’s high school by 6:00 to get him over to a soccer tryout at 6:30 pm. Then, went straight to the church for an hour prayer meeting. Holy cow what a day. I am not in my best frame of mind when there is no margin in the day.

And I would love to say the prayer meeting was outstanding. It was good. And it was important. But it didn’t blow me away. But I do know God was there. And He wanted to hear us pray. And He wanted us to remember it was about Him and His Spirit and His word and His plan! So it was worth it in the end.