I was born in Texas. But for those of you moving here or visiting here, I was given this amount of information to help you with your transition:
THINGS LEARNED LIVING IN TEXAS
~ A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
~ There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas
~ There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas .
~ If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.
~ ‘Jaw-P?’ means, ‘Did y’all go to the bathroom?
~ There is no such thing as ‘lunch.’ There is only dinner and then there is
~ Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when
you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
~ “Backwards and forwards” means “I know everything about you.”
~ The word ‘jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning, ‘Did you eat?’
~ You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is.
You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
~ You measure distance in minutes.
~ You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
~ You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
~ The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.
~ You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
~ Fried catfish is the other white meat.