I went to my son’s soccer game last night as I usually do. And I hate going. I get so emotionally involved and invested. I love to watch him play. I love to see the game develop and see him helping contribute to the game in different ways. But what I don’t like about it is me. I am too vocal. To fidgety. To engaged. So, I came up with a list of things to help me not be so vocal.
1. Download and listen to Kenny G on my ipod. The sheer madness of that music will take my mind off of it.
2. Wear the most awful looking clothes ever. I wouldn’t dare yell out for fear of attracting attention.
3. Wear the other teams colors in the event 1 or 2 fails.
4. Watch from the car. I would be the only one to hear myself.
5. Pray through the entire game. And pray for each person that has the ball. When the ball is out of bounds, pray for the nearest ref.
6. Chew 10 pieces of gum at once. Nothing I would say would be understood anyway.
7. Determine that I could only yell out in Spannish. Seeing as I don’t know Spannish, I would either learn the language quickly or I wouldn’t say anything other than bueno.
8. Eat a habinero pepper just before the game. My tongue would be swolen up inside my mouth rendering it useless.
9. Become an assistant coach. Nah.
10. Repeat this list, rinse, repeat.