What a night. I am still working on church stuff. It has taken me a while to get this message nailed down. Usually it just falls out of my brain and my prayer time and tada. But not this one. It’s a labor.
I am also wrestling with some mental stuff too lately. I find being a senior pastor at times to be completely draining. Even though we try not to take everything personally, we do. If something is messed up, even if I didn’t mess it up, I own it. If someone comes to our church we are thrilled. If someone leaves, we feel it like an ache inside of us. If leadership is unhappy or frustrated or something is getting done, it really doesn’t matter, it will end up as my fault or my responsibility.
I bet Moses had some gut wrenching conversations with God. I bet David at times felt like leaving the country. I bet the apostle Paul felt like dumping the whole lot of Christianity. I bet Jesus had gray hairs even though He went to the cross around 33 years of age.
Honestly, tonight, I would love for Jesus to come back. But if He doesn’t, I am going to believe tomorrow, at church, will be our best day ever. And sometime next week, I am going to believe the same thing about next Sunday’s service.
I really do wish I could be perfect, create the perfect church, and satisfy every persons needs as a member of Legacy. But I can’t. So my prayer today is to live in the strength God gave me and just live for Him the best way I can. And when I don’t measure up in His eyes I will repent. And when I don’t measure up in others eyes, whether right or wrong, I will repent. And I will move on. Because it’s Saturday night, and Sunday will be here shortly!